Archive | October, 2011

Random Insults Day 7 – fuckdicksex

31 Oct

As lame as this is, I have to bow to the author of this juvenile affair for incorporating this triumvirate of potty mouthed expletives in one white-space free string. All it really needs is a .com after it and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it was a very sad porn site (don’t bother, I already tried it in a new tab and the search engine results were very predictable). Some may be wondering why this is considered a random insult. Well firstly there is the insult to our intelligence that would warrant the author writing these words in the first place. Secondly it was written on a child’s playground in Spencer Street Northcote which gives it extra insult-kudos to parents of young pups such as myself. Beyond that the mind can only boggle.

fuck dick sex

Random Insults Day 6 – We gon find u

30 Oct

A definite contender for the WTF file, I snapped these two pieces of gibberish on two separate levels in the adventure playground behind the Croxton School in Woolhouse Street East Brunswick.

What struck me initially was the creepyness of this graffiti. When I saw “We Gon’ Find U” I was reminded of a twilight zone episode where a father trades his soul to become a child ghost haunting a playground in order to spare his son the torment of being teased by bullies. Is there anything creepier than the sound of an empty swing squeeking mournfully on a windy night?

Then I found the response, “This is not Van” in the same hand on the ground level and I could only chuckle at the thought of some disembodied spray can wielding bogey man called Van with a serious identity crisis. Perhaps the author was trying to make a statement like “This is not vandalism” but ran out of room on his/her chosen canvas. Or maybe this doesn’t really bode much more than a juvenile practicing her lines for some serious lame arsed graffiti somewhere even less appropriate.

we gon find u

this is not van

Random Insults Day 5 – Eat Cops

29 Oct

I’m sure this silly sentiment scrawled on the wall of FOE in Smith Street Collingwood will resonate with a few people after the eviction of the people’s embassy of Occupy Melbourne in the city square last week. Anyone with suggestions for marinades and cooking tips can post their comments below.

eat cops

Random Insults Day 4 – Defaced Run Property sign

28 Oct

Anything that takes the piss out of Real Estate agents gets my thumbs up. ‘Nuff said.

Defaced Run property sign

Random Insults Day 3 – Bloody Queue Jumpers

27 Oct

This is not the platform to talk about the Australian government’s woefully inhumane stance on refugees, but this poster snapped in the car park behind the High Street shops in Northcote neatly sums up the hypocrisy of those who label refugees as queue jumpers. The very notion of there being an orderly queue when fleeing the crisis of war and oppression would be sadly laughable if it weren’t so fucking tragic.

bloody queue jumpers

Random Insults Day 2 – Bill Henson still can’t paint

26 Oct

There’s nothing like a good old Aussie tall poppy put down. This little witticism against controversial photographer Bill Henson on Mitchell St., Northcote is just around the corner from Bill’s home. I’m sure it’s not the most insulting thing that’s been directed at him, however, considering he’s been accused of creating artwork verging on child pornography by more than one conservative zealot. Still I like the tack this insult takes. As Homer Simpson once put it, “It’s funny because it’s true”.

bill henson still can't paint

Random Insults Day 1 – Aloha Cunts

25 Oct

When one goes to the Hawaiian islands one is greeted with the lovely word aloha which means both hello and goodbye. It seems fitting to begin this collection of insults and jibes with this image painted onto the Miller Street tram bridge in Preston. Aloha is a tag I see around the traps, so whether this is a defacement or an addition (the line through cunts suggests the former), makes it doubly amusing.

The Jabba the Hut like presence painted next to it also adds a nice nuance to the general vibe of this graffiti haunt.

aloha cunts closeup

aloha cunts plus Jabba