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Random Insults Day 16 – Scrap Mutant Ferguson

18 Nov

I’ve seen this insult to local MP Martin Ferguson on other methods of waste disposal around Thornbury. This one was on the side of a dumpster at the BP servo on St George’s Road.

Fergo is considered a bit of a political relic from the dinosaur days of the Labor Party. My limited experience of him, outside of news exposure, has been in the odd slacktervist lobbying on environmental issues via GetUp. Upon voicing my democratic concerns once, his office’s own form letter flippantly lead with a backhanded line that read something like “Thanks for your inquiry lodged via the GetUp website.” Good call Fergo, but not the most respectful way to talk to your constituents.

As resources Minister he has been stirring up the environmental hornets nest by leading the charge to sell Australia’s uranium to India. One can only assume that this Texta lobbying is a plea to the good people of Thornbury, by said marker wielding crusader, to dump Ferguson for some more enlightened and progressive representative. Though maybe I presume too much. Wouldn’t a greenie say something along the lines of Recycle Mutant Ferguson? Nah, not as snappy as “Scrap… ” but definitely creepier.

scrap mutant ferguson

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Random Insults Day 15 – This is so not cool!

14 Nov

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who finds playground defacement with pictures of dicks a little on the nose.

This old school comment stream was scrawled on the inside of a wooden playground train at the M Walker Playground in Cramer Street Preston.

It’s interesting to reflect that the now ubiquitous experience of commenting on people’s messages, ala Facebook Wall, has an earlier counterpart in graffiti on toilet walls & c.

Human’s have always enjoyed leaving their mark, all the way back to pre-literate hunter gatherer cultures. I imagine that there was disagreement even back then as to the appropriateness of what was etched onto the cave wall with charcoal and animal fat. Grug may have coped a bit of flack from his brethren for depicting his own spear striking the wooly mammoth first, or for drawing the mammories on his Venus or the phallus on his Horned God just a little too big.

Perhaps the fact that comment streams are everywhere may make this little exchange seem trivial (compared to the brilliant insights one can read about lunch-time fare and other literate-bowel movements on FB) but this is a slice of insight I feel needs recording, if only to make me nostalgic about the streams of toilet humour that I have seen in pub and public loos the world over.

I also like the second comment, “You right it’s gay” (sic), for its unPC condensation of the issue into a curious psychological insight. Why do some people draw dicks in public places? Purileness? Black magic? Asserting their male vigour in the face of repressed homosexuality? Or just a way to mark an onanistic accomplishment – another day, another wank (metaphorical or literal)? Oh and what’s with the date?

This is Not Cool

Random Insults Day 14 – North Side

11 Nov

I’m not sure if this is a finger from or to those north of the Yarra. Carefully sketched on a wall facing the playground in Adams Park in South Preston it certainly commands attention. Perhaps because of its ambiguity it is a piece designed to please devotees of either side of the north south Melbourne divide.

north side

Random Insults Day 11 – Green Morons

7 Nov

As fond as I am of progressive views in politics, I do see the point of this defacement of the red texta pixie people’s I love the Greens sign which I snapped on Rathdowne Street, Carlton in November 2010. Still, I don’t think that it warrants the profound tick of approval, seeing as it is more a case of small minds think unlike. Especially when you take the telltale correction of the word morans, I mean morons.

green morons defaced sign

Random Insults Day 10 – Fuk off cunt

4 Nov

As far as random insults go, this is the mother load.

This was scrawled on the wall of a power junction thing near Croxton Station. A wall that is heavily tagged, so maybe it’s an ironic reference to the amount of tag spew scrawled around it.

I often wonder what motivates people to chalk up their bile with such conviction. This is also the reason why I enjoy snapping and posting these vindictive gems. Is it the thrill of breaking the established code of verbal conduct or is a particular person/institution/entity in the mind of the profanitor that warrants a good old fashioned text-lashing. I’ll never really know, but at least I’ll have fun writing about it.

Note the economical spelling of the word Fuck.

Fuk off Cunt

Random Insults Day 8 – Fuck my Libido!

1 Nov

For those keeping up with this series of posts we are now sailing into the lame winds of the graffiti doldrums. In this sad place there is only the stagnant feeling of sameness mounting itself, like the sorry joys of the serial consumer of online pornography. The case in point, as seen below, is vandalism of children’s playground equipment with statements that only seem interesting because they are so inappropriately displayed. Why we should fuck the author’s libido may be a worthy question for criminologists studying the nascent signs of exhibitionism in this *embarrassing cough* artist, but to the rest of the world it should not matter one whit.

fuck my libido

Random Insults Day 7 – fuckdicksex

31 Oct

As lame as this is, I have to bow to the author of this juvenile affair for incorporating this triumvirate of potty mouthed expletives in one white-space free string. All it really needs is a .com after it and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it was a very sad porn site (don’t bother, I already tried it in a new tab and the search engine results were very predictable). Some may be wondering why this is considered a random insult. Well firstly there is the insult to our intelligence that would warrant the author writing these words in the first place. Secondly it was written on a child’s playground in Spencer Street Northcote which gives it extra insult-kudos to parents of young pups such as myself. Beyond that the mind can only boggle.

fuck dick sex