Tag Archives: Northcote

Eat Your Money

12 Dec

I snapped this rather amusing piece of graffiti on the side of a wheelie bin on Herbert Street Northcote. Sound advice to those living on credit, as I’ve heard tell that plastic is a great form of roughage.

Eat Your Money

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Don’t be afraid of the sadness that will set you free

24 Nov

After all that crazy insult shit, I thought it was about time for some sweet sadness.

This beautiful aphorism has been on a fence close to Croxton Station for a good year or more – testament to the power of its sentiment.

The day I stopped to snap this photo was one pregnant with the promise of impending thunder storms. The thunder heads were billowing behind me, and just as I stopped, a few rays of late afternoon sun stole through giving me a good half minute’s window to take my photo. Cosmic ha?

This is a very sweet take on sadness, so I’m not going to fill your mind with my own long winded interpretations, suffice to say that it has lead me down some interesting paths of thought.

It puts me in mind of a Sufi story though, more about aphoristic thought and the search for answers than sadness, though sadness, as our fence-post poet understands, has its own path to bliss.

Mullah Nasruddin is tearing up and down the high street of his village on his donkey. After a while the whole town gathers scratching their heads and wondering what is going on, till one person steps forward and asks, “What are you doing?” Nasruddin replies, “I’m looking for my Donkey!”

Don't be afraid of the sadness that will set you free

Random Insults 17 – Run from this mouldy health hazard house

23 Nov

I was feeling a bit over these random insult posts until I came across this very funny defacement of a Run Property sign.

My family had to deal with these schmoes for a while and we found them about as effective at agency as a celibate at a swinger’s convention. Their only contact with us, or our landlord, seemed to be when they were agitating for a rent increase. Perish the thought that they should do anything like organise repairs or some such triviality. Run pride themselves on this corporate chic image, so it’s always nice to see some Texta wielding bandit do a hatchet job on their branding (cf. this one). This one is smirk-raisingly witty and made my morning after I left Missy at childcare with a heavy heart.

Defaced Run property sign – close up

Defaced Run Property Sign

Random Insults Day 10 – Fuk off cunt

4 Nov

As far as random insults go, this is the mother load.

This was scrawled on the wall of a power junction thing near Croxton Station. A wall that is heavily tagged, so maybe it’s an ironic reference to the amount of tag spew scrawled around it.

I often wonder what motivates people to chalk up their bile with such conviction. This is also the reason why I enjoy snapping and posting these vindictive gems. Is it the thrill of breaking the established code of verbal conduct or is a particular person/institution/entity in the mind of the profanitor that warrants a good old fashioned text-lashing. I’ll never really know, but at least I’ll have fun writing about it.

Note the economical spelling of the word Fuck.

Fuk off Cunt

Random Insults Day 7 – fuckdicksex

31 Oct

As lame as this is, I have to bow to the author of this juvenile affair for incorporating this triumvirate of potty mouthed expletives in one white-space free string. All it really needs is a .com after it and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it was a very sad porn site (don’t bother, I already tried it in a new tab and the search engine results were very predictable). Some may be wondering why this is considered a random insult. Well firstly there is the insult to our intelligence that would warrant the author writing these words in the first place. Secondly it was written on a child’s playground in Spencer Street Northcote which gives it extra insult-kudos to parents of young pups such as myself. Beyond that the mind can only boggle.

fuck dick sex

Random Insults Day 2 – Bill Henson still can’t paint

26 Oct

There’s nothing like a good old Aussie tall poppy put down. This little witticism against controversial photographer Bill Henson on Mitchell St., Northcote is just around the corner from Bill’s home. I’m sure it’s not the most insulting thing that’s been directed at him, however, considering he’s been accused of creating artwork verging on child pornography by more than one conservative zealot. Still I like the tack this insult takes. As Homer Simpson once put it, “It’s funny because it’s true”.

bill henson still can't paint

God Woz ‘ere

8 Feb

In the backstreets of Northcote, armed with a spray can and a ouija board, our hero stalks. He is a man on a mission, yet the particulars of that mission are unknown – hence the board. All he knows is that something must be said, and it must be said tonight. Oblivious to the lights of passing cars and the smell of piss from the Friday night tourists, he plants himself on the footpath and begins to summon his muse.

When the spirit infests him it is a familiar warmth – first his groin, then his stomach and finally his heart lights up. He knows what he must do. Impulsively he turns and throws the useless board away… it won’t tell him anything he does not know instinctively. He picks up the can and turns to the metal junction box, or whatever the hell it is, and pours out the contents of his illuminated soul, the great I Am … “God woz ‘ere”.

He does not linger for long to admire or even comprehend what has been written, but he leaves the place knowing others will come to honour their own inner light, or expel their inner darkness – be it with spray can, felt marker or prepared paper – for this is the sacrement they all share, and the city walls are their holy church.

God woz 'ere