Tag Archives: phallus tags

Random Insults Day 15 – This is so not cool!

14 Nov

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who finds playground defacement with pictures of dicks a little on the nose.

This old school comment stream was scrawled on the inside of a wooden playground train at the M Walker Playground in Cramer Street Preston.

It’s interesting to reflect that the now ubiquitous experience of commenting on people’s messages, ala Facebook Wall, has an earlier counterpart in graffiti on toilet walls & c.

Human’s have always enjoyed leaving their mark, all the way back to pre-literate hunter gatherer cultures. I imagine that there was disagreement even back then as to the appropriateness of what was etched onto the cave wall with charcoal and animal fat. Grug may have coped a bit of flack from his brethren for depicting his own spear striking the wooly mammoth first, or for drawing the mammories on his Venus or the phallus on his Horned God just a little too big.

Perhaps the fact that comment streams are everywhere may make this little exchange seem trivial (compared to the brilliant insights one can read about lunch-time fare and other literate-bowel movements on FB) but this is a slice of insight I feel needs recording, if only to make me nostalgic about the streams of toilet humour that I have seen in pub and public loos the world over.

I also like the second comment, “You right it’s gay” (sic), for its unPC condensation of the issue into a curious psychological insight. Why do some people draw dicks in public places? Purileness? Black magic? Asserting their male vigour in the face of repressed homosexuality? Or just a way to mark an onanistic accomplishment – another day, another wank (metaphorical or literal)? Oh and what’s with the date?

This is Not Cool



21 Jan

Do you remember defacing your older sister’s fashion magazine when you were a feisty tween? Do you remember the satisfaction of drawing  mustaches on supermodels, or giving some uber-nubile bombshell’s perfect smile that much needed gaptooth? How about a stray booger dripping from the nose of that Big M girl whose face seemed to be everywhere back in the summer of ’77?

Well you were part of this crew that we all probably belonged to at some part of our lives  – the frustrated (probably talentless) artists who gave those Gothic invaders of the Roman Empire a bad name.

The fascination with the phallus is no doubt ancient, and perhaps my christian moral brainwashing is leading me to protest too much. However, like the criticism leveled at Dictation-not, these were snapped down at a kid’s playground, in between serves of tanbark sandwiches courtesy of my 3 year old, and hence, clever hermaphroditic allusions aside, deserve to be filed under stupid.

Phallus Tag 1

Even though this is just a childish picture of a dick, I like the hermaphroditic allusions here... or are those anatomically improbable balls that look like breasts? Mmmm, subtext.

Phallus Tag 2

Dick Head! Get it. You know you're in the post-modern era when someone is waxing lyrical about graffiti penises.

Dictation… not!

14 Dec

I generally steer away from snapping tags, mainly because they are the graffiti equivalent of dogs marking trees, and other landmarks, with their piss. However when I saw that someone had co-opted the otherwise hilarious dictation tag of the Summer Height’s High character Jonah Takalua, I thought it worthy of a mention – in the stupid department of course. Not only because it is an appropriation of someone else’s tag, and therefore very bad form, but because it was scrawled all over the equipment in a toddler’s play park.

For those unfamiliar with Summer Heights High, it is a mokumentary of an Australian High School following three main characters, all of which are played by the masterful Chris Lilley. The three characters are the egotistical drama teacher Mr G, the equally vain exchange student Ja’mie King and the clueless bad boy Jonah. The comedy is that cringe-worthy close to the bone character based style that seems to have come to the fore in Anglo comedy in the naughties – a style which people either love or hate.

Below is an excerpt where Jonah explains his tag and demonstrates his detention wagging strategy:

Here are the imitation tags found in the park down the road where my toddler likes to frolic.

Nice one numb-nuts

And the full effect... careful, genius at work.

More from this muppet in a future post.