Tag Archives: playground vandalism

Random Insults Day 15 – This is so not cool!

14 Nov

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who finds playground defacement with pictures of dicks a little on the nose.

This old school comment stream was scrawled on the inside of a wooden playground train at the M Walker Playground in Cramer Street Preston.

It’s interesting to reflect that the now ubiquitous experience of commenting on people’s messages, ala Facebook Wall, has an earlier counterpart in graffiti on toilet walls & c.

Human’s have always enjoyed leaving their mark, all the way back to pre-literate hunter gatherer cultures. I imagine that there was disagreement even back then as to the appropriateness of what was etched onto the cave wall with charcoal and animal fat. Grug may have coped a bit of flack from his brethren for depicting his own spear striking the wooly mammoth first, or for drawing the mammories on his Venus or the phallus on his Horned God just a little too big.

Perhaps the fact that comment streams are everywhere may make this little exchange seem trivial (compared to the brilliant insights one can read about lunch-time fare and other literate-bowel movements on FB) but this is a slice of insight I feel needs recording, if only to make me nostalgic about the streams of toilet humour that I have seen in pub and public loos the world over.

I also like the second comment, “You right it’s gay” (sic), for its unPC condensation of the issue into a curious psychological insight. Why do some people draw dicks in public places? Purileness? Black magic? Asserting their male vigour in the face of repressed homosexuality? Or just a way to mark an onanistic accomplishment – another day, another wank (metaphorical or literal)? Oh and what’s with the date?

This is Not Cool


Random Insults Day 8 – Fuck my Libido!

1 Nov

For those keeping up with this series of posts we are now sailing into the lame winds of the graffiti doldrums. In this sad place there is only the stagnant feeling of sameness mounting itself, like the sorry joys of the serial consumer of online pornography. The case in point, as seen below, is vandalism of children’s playground equipment with statements that only seem interesting because they are so inappropriately displayed. Why we should fuck the author’s libido may be a worthy question for criminologists studying the nascent signs of exhibitionism in this *embarrassing cough* artist, but to the rest of the world it should not matter one whit.

fuck my libido

Random Insults Day 7 – fuckdicksex

31 Oct

As lame as this is, I have to bow to the author of this juvenile affair for incorporating this triumvirate of potty mouthed expletives in one white-space free string. All it really needs is a .com after it and I wouldn’t be surprised to find that it was a very sad porn site (don’t bother, I already tried it in a new tab and the search engine results were very predictable). Some may be wondering why this is considered a random insult. Well firstly there is the insult to our intelligence that would warrant the author writing these words in the first place. Secondly it was written on a child’s playground in Spencer Street Northcote which gives it extra insult-kudos to parents of young pups such as myself. Beyond that the mind can only boggle.

fuck dick sex

Random Insults Day 6 – We gon find u

30 Oct

A definite contender for the WTF file, I snapped these two pieces of gibberish on two separate levels in the adventure playground behind the Croxton School in Woolhouse Street East Brunswick.

What struck me initially was the creepyness of this graffiti. When I saw “We Gon’ Find U” I was reminded of a twilight zone episode where a father trades his soul to become a child ghost haunting a playground in order to spare his son the torment of being teased by bullies. Is there anything creepier than the sound of an empty swing squeeking mournfully on a windy night?

Then I found the response, “This is not Van” in the same hand on the ground level and I could only chuckle at the thought of some disembodied spray can wielding bogey man called Van with a serious identity crisis. Perhaps the author was trying to make a statement like “This is not vandalism” but ran out of room on his/her chosen canvas. Or maybe this doesn’t really bode much more than a juvenile practicing her lines for some serious lame arsed graffiti somewhere even less appropriate.

we gon find u

this is not van